wake up disney
The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.
okay so today I was at the mall and this girl walking in front of me and tripped and fell and instead of helping her up like a normal person would- I decided to make her feel less embarrassed and fall down too
but I guess another guy had the same idea because we fell at the same time
and then another person fell
and suddenly I was lying in the middle of an impromptu fainting mob and a lot of people were shouting
and the girl who’d originally fallen looked so fucking happy
do people actually stand in front of a microphone for hours making weird gibberish sounds for them to use in the sims games
because if so then i need to see this happen at least once in my lifetime
if not more
side effects of being friends with me include gaining extensive knowledge of tv shows you dont watch or care about
why don’t they have big hyped up award shows for books
best male/female character
best plot development
best plot twist
worried that squirrels were eating all the birdseed, so we set up a camera
i do not think that is a squirrel
maybe the reason why some of us stay up all night and sleep all day is because we were meant to live on the other side of the planet
….This makes a disturbing amount of sense…
this girl on my facebook feed has been posting statuses for 8 hours straight all today begging for someone to kill a spider in her bathroom and having several breakdowns in the middle and ranting about how she has no true friends because no one would kill it only to realize that it was a piece of hair and i’m still laughing
If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate endings and watch them panic again as they all try to find the last ending.
This is perfect.